I’ve been thinking about my diet. I mentioned that I don’t do well with restriction, so I’ve been eating whatever the heck I’m in the mood.
That means 99% sweets and carbs galore. Sweets/breads/pastas used to be a huge fear food, so after much deprivation, they’re ALL I want to eat now.
I think allowing myself to eat lots of carbs for awhile was necessary for me to overcome my fear of them. However, now that I’ve gotten over my fear, it’s perhaps time for me to STOP EATING THEM EVERY SINGLE MEAL.
I don’t mean cutting them out completely, but just adding in some leafy greens and proteins…since I eat those maybe once a week lol.
Just because I’m not obese does not mean I’m not predisposing myself to type 2 diabetes with a diet consisting of mostly sugar.
However, as someone with an eating disorder background, it’s tricky to be healthy physically AND mentally simultaneously. It’s quite easy for me to slip into obsessive behaviors and use healthy eating as an excuse to restrict once I proclaim I’m going to eat more healthy.
So, how do I plan to eat healthy while working around eating disorder tendencies?
I’m not going to weigh myself or scrutinize my body in the mirror. Not for awhile (TRY to at least).
I do not intend to restrict or lose weight, but if I DID see my weight drop as I incorporate more healthy foods in my diet, it will be really easy for me to get a high from the lbs shed and start obsessing over how I can lose more weight.
I’m no where close to being free of eating disorder thoughts, but acknowledgement is the first step right?
Aside from that, my long term goal is to eventually be able view food as FUEL and separate any connection between food and body image. But that will no doubt require a tremendous amount of effort, as I’ve trained my brain to automatically make the association for so long now….
How do you view food? Can you separate the association between food and weight?