eating struggles

i’ve really been struggling with my eating on internal medicine rotation.

For 1, we have free lunch every day. that really should be a big hurray for someone taking out loans, but i really don’t like the gigantic meals they give complete with soda, cookies, and chips. It’s really hard to resist when EVERYONE ELSE is eating it!

for 2, we are on call every 4 days, that means everyone else is eating like shit all day e’erday. Donuts, pigs in a blanket, COSTCO sized cheetos/chips, cookies, etc. etc. ALL OVER THE TABLE. And my team mates are snacking ALL DAY on these shitty junk food! it’s also hard to resist!

I guess that just means I need to have better self control...not only am I not liking the weight gain, my body is also rebelling by popping out pimples every single call day! I know the pimples is a result from EATING and not stress because I also had a bunch of pimples whilst on vacation in SF. Naturally, i eat indulgently on vacation, but my body also hated it. If i’m getting pimples on vacation, that means it’s coming from the FOOD! I obviously have no stress on vacation.

garghhh.

at the same time, I feel so bad about wanting to be skinny when I’m seeing so many patients sick with liver failure, heart attacks, cancer, etc. etc.

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